by
P.S. Sahni
[All
characters in this ‘theatre’ of war are real; any resemblance to fictional ones
is purely imaginary!]
At an emergency war-room located in Tel
Aviv within a huge bomb-proof bunker are seated Joe Biden, Netanyahu, Macron,
Sunak and Olaf Scholz for a round-table meeting.
Agenda: Complete
annihilation of ‘human-animals’/ ‘cockroaches’ – expletives derogatorily used
for Palestinians by the Israeli government. Putting up grim faces, the
utterances of these five men are business-like.
Joe
Biden: Quick
Netanyahu, spell out your plans.
Netanyahu: We continue to air-bomb the civilians;
have moved in our tanks for a ground offensive in the Gaza Strip. We understand
it would take a long time to finish them off.
Joe
Biden: It’s a slow
process but in a long drawn-out war public opinion will turn against us.
Olaf
Scholz: With due apologies to Netanyahu and without
touching raw nerves, may I remind you that when Hitler faced a similar problem
– about exterminating a community he opted for the Jews to be sent to
gas-chambers – saves the bother of long-term killing on a daily basis. The
Holocaust has taught us that this option should not be explored as a final
solution for the Palestinians.
Sunak: I am a Person of Indian Origin. I
remember my grand-father telling me in childhood about the Jallianwala Bagh
massacre at Amritsar, India executed by the then British (India) rulers on 13
April 1919. As a matter of fact, the topography of the Gaza Strip suits Israel fine.
The area is enclosed from all sides with one exit point at the Egyptian border
which could be bombed to ensure no Palestinian escapes from there. May I remind this August gathering that
Jallianwala Bagh had a similar topography with all gates sealed and no escape
routes for the thousands upon thousands of pilgrims (Sikhs & Hindus) who
had gathered there on the festive day of Baisakhi. There were also people
protesting against the Rowlatt Act. So Brigadier General Dyer ordered his army to do a clean and fast
job, which they did through machine-guns. Of course martial law was in force in
Punjab. The objective was achieved. True the number of people who had gathered
and got killed/injured was in thousands only. That Israel is modifying this
template to ensure 2-3 million Palestinians get eliminated!
Joe
Biden: One hears about
bombing Palestinians to stone-age. I recall the phrase ‘bombing Pakistan to
stone-age’ used by our Assistant Secretary of State in a telephonic
conversation with the Pakistani leaders after 9/11 when the latter were not
taking a clear stance – whether they were with us Americans or not.
Netanyahu: I’m against bombing Palestine to
stone-age. I’d rather eliminate all the Palestinians but leave the land at Gaza
Strip, West Bank reusable by us after the mission is accomplished so that we
could re-settle our own people there. Bombing Palestine to stone-age – even if
it eliminates all Palestinians – would leave the barren stone-aged land of no
use to us. So, what’s the big deal?
Macron: (addressing Joe Biden) The American
government has the experience of dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and
Nagasaki in 1945. I am against a similar exercise undertaken at Gaza Strip though
some would argue that it would be a quick, clean and smart job eliminating all
the – as the Israelis term – ‘human-animals’ and ‘cockroaches’ in one go.
Sunak: I have it on authority of nuclear
scientists and evolutionary biologists that not even a nuclear bomb can
eliminate cockroaches – which have an inherent survival instinct against
nuclear radiation.
[Netanyahu does a quick Google search on
his smart phone using words – Cockroaches, Survive, Nuclear Radiation.]
Netanyahu: (interrupting others) Sunak is right
on the dot!
Joe
Biden: If that be
so, whose brilliant idea was it to dub the Palestinians as ‘cockroaches’ and
the like? If what Sunak says is true, Israelis better stop using expletives
like cockroaches for Palestinians. That way we’ll come out of this messy war
with our heads held high and with a measure of dignity.
[All others nod their heads in agreement.]
Macron: That still leaves a minor irritant. What if
we face a Nuremberg type of trial after the Palestinians are eliminated by the
Israeli army? Let me remind you that all of us are going to face elections in
our respective states within a year. God forbid if our parties lose the elections.
Don’t forget that people are supreme. The opposition parties would get to our
jugulars.
Olaf
Scholz: Not to bother much. Post Nuremberg even the top
most leaders were given a jail term of a couple of years; and that, too, was
shortened subsequently at the behest of the Allies themselves who needed the
services of these very Nazi-criminals to keep the restless masses – reeling
under inflation after WWII – subdued in their own countries. So don’t fear any
Nuremberg type of trials or their consequences. What is more, in post-Nazi
Germany itself very many of those involved were allowed to escape to other
countries. Recently, the Canadian government under Trudeau was actually
honoring an Ex-Nazi right in the holy precincts of their Parliament! Don’t get
me wrong; better not to kill all of Hamas leaders. Each one of us may actually
need their services to stay in power in our own countries. That’s realpolitik,
howsoever disgusting it sounds.
Joe
Biden: (irritatingly)
By the way, Sunak could you at least ensure that your BBC fellows stop calling
Hamas as fighters and use the designated term ‘terrorists’. BBC has become a
pain in the a_ _e for me.
Sunak: Trust me I have already put in a word,
discreetly though, but it does not work.
Joe
Biden: Why don’t
you cut off the BBC’s funds; impose a sort of economic sanction or freeze their
bank accounts.
Sunak: That would actually mean no news emanates
from the U.K. – which is worse than having to hear reference to Hamas – the
fighters 24x7. At least we are better off than the Russian government-controlled
media which refers to Hamas as the liberation force. Hamas in Arabic actually
means ‘zeal’. Hamas is also an Arabic acronym for “Harakat al-Muqawamah
al-Islamiyya,” which means “The Islamic Resistance Movement.”
While
we are at it, may I just remind you that while British official records till
date refer to Bhagat Singh as a “terrorist”, the people of India and its
government calls him a patriot, martyr, revolutionary and freedom fighter. All
of us here could take a cue from history – unless we decide to rewrite world
history as George Orwell had prophesied it to eventually happen.
Joe
Biden: Netanyahu,
do keep in mind as you strategise your moves – that the USA has imposed war in
about dozen and a half countries since WWII and every time I confess our army
had to finally retreat back to the barracks with punches all over our faces.
The short statured Vietnamese, would throw boulders from tree-tops above on
American soldiers stationed on the ground below and kill them.
We
were lucky there was no internet in the 1960s so we could hide the atrocities
committed by us on the civilians from the rest of the world for a long time.
But, now any Palestinian – I mean Hamas – could click a picture with his/her
smart phone in Gaza Strip, get it viral and the whole world knows about it. You
are plain unlucky to be waging a war in the internet-era.
Of
course we had our problems way back in the sixties with lone-wolf journalists –
I mean those with social conscience; it is thus that the ‘My Lai’ massacre,
Napalm bombing, ‘Agent Orange’ resorted to by us got public. We became wiser in
later years though and started the concept of ‘embedded journalists.’ But even
that’s not fool-proof.
Macron: Brother Netanyahu please bear with me; your
Cabinet colleagues calling Palestinians as ‘human-animals’ – betray their utter
stupidity. All human beings are animals, if you will social animals; so use of
expletive ‘human-animals’ in relation to Palestinians bounces back on you and
all of us present here, nay the whole humanity. Please listen to Joe Biden’s
sagacious advice – don’t react in anger! Remember if you spit at the sun, the
spit falls back on you.
At that very moment there was what
sounded to be a shrill and long air-raid siren getting repeated again and
again. Joe Biden was the first to duck under the table for cover – rather quick
for his age – followed by the other four. Years of regular drills and exposure
to SOPs instilled in the Heads of States had got their reflexes to be in
perfect survival mode. A couple of
minutes later an anxious Israeli security official rushed into the
bunker as he could not see the images of these leaders on the CCTV screen in
the adjoining part of the bunker.
Biden looks at the security official from his vantage
position under the table.
Joe
Biden: Is the raid
over?
Sheepishly the security official bent
down, cleared his throat and whispered into Netanyahu’s ear that the sound was
actually the long drawn out cry of a Palestinian child who had been grievously
injured in an Israeli bomb strike. Al
Jazeera was airing the clip capturing the child’s cry repeatedly through its
Arabic news service – which the Israeli intelligence officials sitting in the
chamber adjoining the war room were tracking minute-to-minute as part of
routine exercise to gaze into the mind of the Arab world.
The leaders stood up with a sigh of
relief and Joe Biden announced the meeting to be over. All synchronously
saluted each other with a ‘V’ sign, though one of them had faltered and even
embraced a Nazi style salute – and worse shouted HAIL HITLER before rectifying
the mistake.
